Deictic-Poker Face, the Avant-Poker

I know my multitudes of devoted fans (hi, Jake!) have been waiting for the next day of the 30 Day Song Challenge...but you know what? I hate my multitudes of devoted fans (hi, Jake!), so screw you guys. I want to do something different.

So it all started one night (tonight. As I'm writing this. Funny how that works) when I started using my speech recognition software on my computer. Now, it started out dutifully enough. I started "playing" with it to have a convenient way to dictate my notes as I read my research materials for my thesis (see, I am actually working on it!), but between having to wait for the words to show up so I could make sure they were correct, and the occasional problems with the program absolutely refusing to acknowledge certain words (two, and, and juice of all things), it's become more of a gimmick than anything. Besides, I seem to be able to type faster than I read aloud, so it really wasn't any more convenient.

Anyways, playing with the program kind of distracted me. For awhile I was using it to send messages to Jake and Sam, which wasn't very amusing since it kept making little mistakes I didn't catch in my computer's ongoing quest to make me look like a complete idiot. I even went into the "training" mode to get it to understand me better. Now, don't get me wrong. It's an amazing program and it's usually quite accurate if I'm very careful and watching what it writes. But it's just too cumbersome to use effectively for anything other than, as I said before, a gimmick.

Well, the night proceeded and I was busy playing with the speech recognition instead of doing my work (ironic...I started to use it to make my work easier). Jake, in his usual Jake-ish ways started taunting me with lyrics to my favorite song ever and just generally kept being Jake. Well, at one point he sent me some lyrics to the song and I, for kicks, had the program dictate them in notepad.

The result was pure comic gold:

Cause Baby, your affair work,

One, shown what you're worth

Make 'Unger all, all

You shoot across the sky.

Baby, your firework the center,

Allen, let your colors burst

So I decided to try it out with something else, specifically a Lady Gaga song. The results were too glorious to not post to my adoring and adorable fans (hi, Jake!). I may even make this a regular thing...I think it would be amusing to dictate more songs like this. My computer seems to have a good grasp of comic timing...

So, without further ado:

Poker Face (yes, I did the "muh muh muh mah"s as best I could)

I wanna hold them like they do in Texas plays

Fold and let me hit me raise a baby stay with me, I love it turned

Look in intuition play the cards with speech to start

And after he's been up the play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh

All get him talk, show him what I've got

Oh, oh, oh

All get him hot, show him what I've got

Entry by, can't read my

No heat and read like poker face

(couple of nobody)

Can't Read Like, Can Read My center

Now he can read my poker face.

(she's got to love nobody)

P-P-P-poker face, P-P-poker face

(My mama mama)

Deictic-poker face, the avant-poker

(moment and then not a)

I won the role with him a hard pair we will be

A little gambling is from one you're with me, I love it

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun

And baby when it's love it if it's not worth it isn't fun, fun

Oh, oh, oh

August in hot, showing what I've got

Oh, oh, oh

All get him talk, show him what I've got

The red light, can read my

know he can read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can't Read Mind, Can Read My

No heat and read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

P-P-P-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

(none none none now)

He-pee-pee-poker face, P-pi-poker face

(woman by mama)

(none of my mom)

(none none none knoll)

I won't tell you that I love you

Kiser how do

Cousin bluff and with mime often

I'm not wise and I'm just a man with my love glue gun and

It's like a chicken the casino

Take your bank before I pay you out

I promise this, promise this

And design Mara lis

Can read my, read my

Now he can read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can read my, can't read my

No we can create my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can read my, can't read my

No heat and read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can't read my, that read my

Now he can't read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

And Read By, read my

Now he can read like poker for

(she's got to love nobody)

Can't read my, and read my

No he can't read my poker for

(she's got to love nobody)

P-P-P-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

P-P-P-paca face, pee-pee-poker face

(she got to love nobody)

-P-P-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

The-P-P-poker face, P-P-poker face

(Maung Maung Maung not all)

P-pee-pee-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

(none none none got)

70-the-pocket face, pee-pee-poker face

(my mama)