Ok, so I'm sure this is not what you were expecting. "Did Reid forget how to count?!" you may be asking yourself. Well, yes. But that's not why I'm back to day 2. Those of you who have been keeping up with this blog (and if you're reading this, there's a good chance you have) may remember that my entries for day 2 were a bit weak. I didn't hate the winner of that day (Follow Me by Uncle Kracker) so much as I disliked its message. The song is catchy and if, as I'm told, it's actually not about adultery (I'm not convinced it isn't...and even if it really isn't supposed to be, the message is muddied to the point that a listener could still easily say the song is glorifying adultery), then I suppose it's kind of a weak winner for the day. I really don't feel myself filled with rage when I hear this song, in any case...
...not like I am when I hear this song...
I really don't know what it is about this song. Maybe it's the fact that it's so repetitive. Maybe it's because it's so...bubble gum cheery without any real substance ("baby, you're a firework!"...what's that even mean?). I pride myself on basing my musical taste (and any taste, really) not on what others think but what I think, so I try to enjoy things even if the mainstream thinks they're good or bad (and sometimes I'm supposed to hate things the mainstream hates...like this song), but I may just hate it because I'm "supposed to". Because it's Katy Perry. I don't know. But whatever it is, ever since I first heard this vapid, insipid song, it has filled me with a bubbling, broiling rage that I can't even describe. It might just be indigestion.
But in any case, this is definitely meant to be my winner for day 2. Hence the revisiting of it today. I even went out of my way to find a video with the most wretchedly appalling lyrics font.
But wait! There's more!
Thanks to Wal*Mart (yes the blahblahblah), I have not only one, but two winners for today. Not one winner and one runner up, but two songs that I genuinely and utterly despise.
Winner again: In the Summertime (Mungo Jerry) or, as I like to call it, The Derp Song.
What. The Hell. What the hell is up with this song? What is that sound he makes? Why does he sound so goddamned derpy? How can anyone be so blithely and ridiculously happy? How can one man sound so utterly idiotic while singing? What's so great about the summer? And what the HELL is a Mungo Jerry?
I despise this song. I did not make this the runner up for today because my rage for this song burns as brightly and as hotly (one might say...it burns like a firework) as it does for the Katy Perry song above. I call it the Derp Song because it sounds so goddamned derpy (derp herein being a sort of onomatopoeia for the sound someone makes when they're being completely and brainlessly idiotic...it's an internet meme and it's become one of my favorite words). Everything about this song just makes me cringe...it's so idiotically and vapidly optimistic, like the Firework song above, but with even less musicality and a much more...derpy feel. Man, I can't even describe it except to just say that it is derpy and leave it at that (this is why I love the word "derp". I think it actually fills a linguistic purpose that can't be filled by any other word).
So there you have it. Two songs I genuinely despise. I could put in a runnerup here...so I will.
Runner Up: Black Horse and a Cherry Tree (KT Tunstall)
This one doesn't fill me with an irrational homicidal rage like the winners of today, but I dislike it fairly strongly nonetheless. Not quite sure why on this one. Maybe it's simply the beat or the melody. Maybe it's the repetition (a woo hoo...a woo hoo...a woo hoo...a woo hoo), but repetition isn't usually enough to make me hate a song. So it's hard to say why I strongly dislike this one, but I do. It could just be because I never cared for it and the radio stations (including Wal*Mart) overplayed it. Who knows?
