Deictic-Poker Face, the Avant-Poker

I know my multitudes of devoted fans (hi, Jake!) have been waiting for the next day of the 30 Day Song Challenge...but you know what? I hate my multitudes of devoted fans (hi, Jake!), so screw you guys. I want to do something different.

So it all started one night (tonight. As I'm writing this. Funny how that works) when I started using my speech recognition software on my computer. Now, it started out dutifully enough. I started "playing" with it to have a convenient way to dictate my notes as I read my research materials for my thesis (see, I am actually working on it!), but between having to wait for the words to show up so I could make sure they were correct, and the occasional problems with the program absolutely refusing to acknowledge certain words (two, and, and juice of all things), it's become more of a gimmick than anything. Besides, I seem to be able to type faster than I read aloud, so it really wasn't any more convenient.

Anyways, playing with the program kind of distracted me. For awhile I was using it to send messages to Jake and Sam, which wasn't very amusing since it kept making little mistakes I didn't catch in my computer's ongoing quest to make me look like a complete idiot. I even went into the "training" mode to get it to understand me better. Now, don't get me wrong. It's an amazing program and it's usually quite accurate if I'm very careful and watching what it writes. But it's just too cumbersome to use effectively for anything other than, as I said before, a gimmick.

Well, the night proceeded and I was busy playing with the speech recognition instead of doing my work (ironic...I started to use it to make my work easier). Jake, in his usual Jake-ish ways started taunting me with lyrics to my favorite song ever and just generally kept being Jake. Well, at one point he sent me some lyrics to the song and I, for kicks, had the program dictate them in notepad.

The result was pure comic gold:

Cause Baby, your affair work,

One, shown what you're worth

Make 'Unger all, all

You shoot across the sky.

Baby, your firework the center,

Allen, let your colors burst

So I decided to try it out with something else, specifically a Lady Gaga song. The results were too glorious to not post to my adoring and adorable fans (hi, Jake!). I may even make this a regular thing...I think it would be amusing to dictate more songs like this. My computer seems to have a good grasp of comic timing...

So, without further ado:

Poker Face (yes, I did the "muh muh muh mah"s as best I could)

I wanna hold them like they do in Texas plays

Fold and let me hit me raise a baby stay with me, I love it turned

Look in intuition play the cards with speech to start

And after he's been up the play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh

All get him talk, show him what I've got

Oh, oh, oh

All get him hot, show him what I've got

Entry by, can't read my

No heat and read like poker face

(couple of nobody)

Can't Read Like, Can Read My center

Now he can read my poker face.

(she's got to love nobody)

P-P-P-poker face, P-P-poker face

(My mama mama)

Deictic-poker face, the avant-poker

(moment and then not a)

I won the role with him a hard pair we will be

A little gambling is from one you're with me, I love it

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun

And baby when it's love it if it's not worth it isn't fun, fun

Oh, oh, oh

August in hot, showing what I've got

Oh, oh, oh

All get him talk, show him what I've got

The red light, can read my

know he can read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can't Read Mind, Can Read My

No heat and read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

P-P-P-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

(none none none now)

He-pee-pee-poker face, P-pi-poker face

(woman by mama)

(none of my mom)

(none none none knoll)

I won't tell you that I love you

Kiser how do

Cousin bluff and with mime often

I'm not wise and I'm just a man with my love glue gun and

It's like a chicken the casino

Take your bank before I pay you out

I promise this, promise this

And design Mara lis

Can read my, read my

Now he can read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can read my, can't read my

No we can create my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can read my, can't read my

No heat and read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

Can't read my, that read my

Now he can't read my poker face

(she's got to love nobody)

And Read By, read my

Now he can read like poker for

(she's got to love nobody)

Can't read my, and read my

No he can't read my poker for

(she's got to love nobody)

P-P-P-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

P-P-P-paca face, pee-pee-poker face

(she got to love nobody)

-P-P-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

The-P-P-poker face, P-P-poker face

(Maung Maung Maung not all)

P-pee-pee-poker face, pee-pee-poker face

(none none none got)

70-the-pocket face, pee-pee-poker face

(my mama)

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 20

Day 20 - A song that you listen to when you’re angry

Finally, the next few days of the challenge are mildly interesting, though I've already covered at least today's in a previous day's entry, or at least touched on it. As I said on Day 14, I believe people to be somewhat hypocritical in regards to music. We're all perfectly fine listening to songs that make us laugh and cry. We're glad to hear songs that make us happy, even songs that make us sad. We watch movies that scare us and movies that we find humorous. But why do we shy away from songs that touch on the more ugly emotions? Like anger?

Now, I know today's entry isn't "a song that makes you angry." That would be a whole different kettle of fish altogether and would be more related to a song that we hate (Baby You're a Firework by Katy Perry makes me angry...but not because it is an "angry" song). I do believe there are songs that tap into our anger and, while I would certainly not advocate people listen to angry songs and then go smash a car window in rage, I don't see anything wrong with seething a little bit as long as it hurts no one. And more to the point...who the heck wants to listen to Walking on Sunshine after we lost our job or rolled our car (yes, that is my car. No I did not feel like listening to Walking on Sunshine after it happened). Indulging in a little seething is healthy, I believe. I don't think it's healthy (or possible) to get past our anger without working through it. It's just as plausible that telling someone to cheer up will cure their clinical depression. It's just something that passes.

Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that I don't listen to music when I'm angry very often. I'll usually turn off the radio. But there are a few songs I could probably stomach listening to if I was angry, particularly the winner of Day 14:

Winner: Indestructible (Disturbed)

Hey look, an actual winner for once. I suppose I'll just stick with this one. I usually listen to this kind of music more when I'm writing a battle scene (or a particularly angry scene) in a roleplay or one of my doodles, but I think it deserves to be in this winning spot.

Runners Up:

Superbeast (Rob Zombie)

Stillborn (Black Label Society)

Man in the Box (Alice in Chains)

Stockholm Syndrome (Muse)

Ok, so at least the day was mildly interesting, even if the winners aren't really anything new. I do occasionally go to Pandora and type in "death metal" or something similar, but not with any frequency. In fact, I believe the last time I did that was when we were fighting Lord Marrowgar in Icecrown Citadel (World of Warcraft), but not because he made me angry (he was actually really easy), but just because I always felt like he looked like something from the cover of a death metal album.

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 18

Day 18 - A song from your favorite album

Once again, this day is extremely uninteresting. As I said in day 11's entry, I do not generally separate songs by album--even less than I pay attention to a song's artist. Albums in particular, however, are something I do not pay attention to since...well, this is the digital age where we can download songs for less than a dollar a pop rather than buy a CD (with perhaps two or three songs that we actually want) for $20. In recent memory I've only bought two full CDs: Rise Against's Appeal to Reason and Trinket's...well, it's probably their only album, but it's awesome. Of course there are other good albums that I have heard in my life, including Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and Enya's A Day Without Rain. Also of course, I have enjoyed quite a few movie scores, not least of which include Braveheart, Last Samurai, and the various Pirates of the Caribbean scores (I'm sick of tracking these random pages down...find them yourselves). But picking a winner? Eh. That's too much of a pain. Appeal to Reason can't win because it's a bunch of liberal posturing with a few good songs thrown in for good measure. I don't know that I'd say Trinket's album is much better, with a couple songs I genuinely love (Superhuman and Boom, the latter of which being the only reason I bought the CD--though it was only 99 cents on Amazon...apparently these songs don't exist on Youtube, so just go to Grooveshark and look them up, you will not be disappointed) and the scores I listed are really more mood music than anything.

So once again, I can't really be bothered to pick a winner for today. Let's just move on with our lives and hope tomorrow's better. If you really want something for completionism's sake:

Winner: All the albums I listed above. Get over it.

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 18

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio

I am seriously beginning to wonder if I am the only person alive that doesn't listen to the radio much. I suppose this one is a bit easier than yesterday's for someone like me who doesn't, but it's still rather vague and uninteresting. So, like yesterday, I'm going to bend the rules:

Day 18 - A song that you wish you heard on the radio at Wal*Mart (yes, the * is important!)

After all, I don't technically wish I would hear any song on the radio. Since I don't listen to it much. Because if I want to hear a song (on the radio or elsewhere), I look it up on Youtube or buy it on iTunes or Amazon.

Anyways, as you possibly gathered from yesterday's (wait, two days ago? ...where the hell does the time go?) blog, I am not 100% happy with the selection of music that Wal*Mart (yes, the blahblahblah) streams over their speakers. For every Boys of Summer (yes, it's not even the original Don Henley version...bummer) and Fireflies (I will give Wal*Mart credit for introducing me to this song...I love it!) I've got a dozen songs like Baby You're a Firework (RARGHBLAGHFRRRRGHBLARGH FFFFFFFFFFFFFF) that I absolutely cannot stand (ok, in all reality, it's not that bad, but I'm being hyperbolous for effect). So this probably gives me a good opportunity to pick a winner for today...except that I basically would just throw my favorite songs in as the winner since I would, of course, want to hear those songs at Wal*Mart rather than what they usually play. If you want to see that, I suggest you go read Day 1. So you know what? To hell with it.

Winner: Yackety Sax (if you need the lyrics, you have suffered a major concussion and should see a doctor immediately)

What can I say? Yackety Sax makes everything better.

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 17

Blahblahblah, been busy, blahblahblah, work, video games, research, blahblahblah, doesn't need to be consecutive days, blahblahblah, LET'S DO THIS SHIT.

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio

Blahblahblah, don't usually listen to the radio--sorry, I'll stop now. So, like I said before (several times), I do not listen to the radio usually. I have lately since I rolled my car and lost all my CDs and can't be bothered to make any new ones right now, but not enough to really be able to pick a winner out for today--at least, not playing 100% by the rules. So it's time once again to exercise my rights as the author of this widely-acclaimed blog (hi Jake!) and do a little switcheroonie on the rules.

Ok, it's not a huge switch, but as some of you may know, I have been working at Wal*Mart for the past month and a half or so (yes, the * is important!). As I spend my day doing blisteringly mind-numbing tasks, a somewhat eclectic selection of music is piped into the hear holes on the side of my head--it would be great if it wasn't the same goddamned music every goddamned day. But this tragedy provides me with a little bit of footing to be able to give my multitudes of fans (hi Jake!) what they want. So, without further ado...

Day 17 - A song that you hear often on the radio at Wal*Mart (yes, the * is important!)

Winner: THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED RAZZAFRAZZIN' BEACH BOYS DISCOGRAPHY

Ok, I like the Beach Boys well enough. Little Old Lady from Passadena and Kokomo are great and all and I know it's summer, but they REALLY don't have to play every single freakin' Beach Boys song, day after day after day after day after day AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER...well, you get the point (yes, that took a long time...did I put one in there twice? No matter...). Anyways, I still like the Beach Boys, I just get sick of being inundated with them day after day after day AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER D--never mind.

Runner Up: Baby You're a Firework (Katy Perry)

RARGHFRGHRBLRBRLRGHRK FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!